Friday 16 February 2018
Still catching up on week's events
One of 2016's fun Christmas presents was an electronic key finder. I had put it away and it had effectively been lost for 14 months but it suddenly turned up in a drawer. I am always losing my phone. The packaging promised that if you just say 'keys' or clap your hands, a beeper would sound and it would be a tranche de gateau to find your missing item. It was wrapped in the sort of impenetrable hard plastic which makes the scissor blades skate sideways. 'Phone' I said, loudly. The key finder started emitting a rather loud beep. I pressed various buttons. It carried on beeping. I clapped my hands and said 'Phone' and it still didnt stop. So I hid it in a ruck sack in the hallway and forgot about it.
Later on, when we were watching yet another episode of the Onedin Line, a broom fell over in the kitchen and a distant beeping started up in the hallway. OH looked around. I pretended not to hear. Eventually it stopped. Elisabeth was toying with the affections of both the posh toff guy and the dastardly Daniel Foggarty. I crept up to bed and waited for OH to start banging about as he turned things off. Sure enough, the beeping started again. He didnt say anything but I could hear his brain whirring.....
This went on for a week before he isolated the sound. Surprisingly, he didnt put it in the bin but has left it in the rucksack. He shouts 'creep past it' to me as I head up the stairs. Off course, this sets it off. He just shouts 'shut up' at it. And it does.
During our sejourn in the UK, quite a few properties had either withdrawn or been sold and the need for new stock is becoming imperative. The phone rings on Tuesday morning and it is a lady responding to one of my adverts. She talks at me for 20 minutes and I slot her into a morning appointment, as she will also talk a lot at me whilst I am at the house and I need to allocate time for this. Wednesday morning and I am at the parking in front of the church, as organised. No sign of the lady. All the bars are shut so no possibility of coffee. Look in yellow pages and find the name and a lady answers. She sounds sort of the same but not as compus mentis. Is she having a bad day today? She says her daughter has been waiting for me since 9 am. It is now 10.15 and we had a 10 am appointment. She tells me her address and I drive into a very long driveway with high curved concrete walls. There is no where to turn around. A lady of a 'certain age' is waving at me from an upstairs balcony and I am just about to go up the steps when a voice stops me in my tracks.
'What are you doing here! I have been waiting for you at the church'. It is a whirlwind of a woman with thick, brindled, round-framed glasses and a forceful manner. 'Follow me', she shouted, running off. I got back into the car and had trouble reversing out of the driveway. The daughter came running back and, with a lot of arm waving, managed to extract me from the car wrecking curves. 'It is this house', she bellowed, waving her arms at a very ordinary looking 1960's jobbie.
She cranked up the garage door and we went inside and out of the rain. She stood an inch away and carried on at full volume. There was a heck of an echo in the garage and I tried to back off. She got me by the elbow. There were a lot of rooms and they were all empty and there was an echo in all of them. A pain started to develop between my eyes. Finally, we got out and went to the mother's house, which was much more sellable but unfortunately not for sale, did the sales contract and she gave me a chocolate. She was still addressing me like I was an auditorium full of people.
'Are you a teacher?' YES, L'HISTOIRE!!! She boomed.
Home for a quick omelette and salad. Must get rid of the 'life-buoy' which has appeared at midriff level.
The afternoon appointment was for the house which my Brits of last week had requested a viewing and then it transpired was totally unsuitable. The poor dog was still outside and it was raining. He was thrilled to have a visitor and we entered by the garage. The seller makes sculptures in 'inox'. A magnificent five feet tall model of an Infanta was guarding the entrance to the stairs. I had extracted most of the information from the rival agents' details and the man had really good photos so we just did the sales contract and back home in under an hour..
Thursday dawned clear and cold and then the sun came out and it was a wonderful, blissful, warm Spring day with 18 degrees. There is a sound which lifts the spirit like no other and there it was; the raucous, joyful cru cruing of cranes. They milled in a great, chaotic multitude over our house before a small v split off and took direction. Within a couple of minutes, the main band had organised itself into an arc and set off behind them.
Winter is officially over and Spring is on the wing above our heads. Felt thankful and emotional. What a wonder is Nature.
Still catching up on week's events
One of 2016's fun Christmas presents was an electronic key finder. I had put it away and it had effectively been lost for 14 months but it suddenly turned up in a drawer. I am always losing my phone. The packaging promised that if you just say 'keys' or clap your hands, a beeper would sound and it would be a tranche de gateau to find your missing item. It was wrapped in the sort of impenetrable hard plastic which makes the scissor blades skate sideways. 'Phone' I said, loudly. The key finder started emitting a rather loud beep. I pressed various buttons. It carried on beeping. I clapped my hands and said 'Phone' and it still didnt stop. So I hid it in a ruck sack in the hallway and forgot about it.
Later on, when we were watching yet another episode of the Onedin Line, a broom fell over in the kitchen and a distant beeping started up in the hallway. OH looked around. I pretended not to hear. Eventually it stopped. Elisabeth was toying with the affections of both the posh toff guy and the dastardly Daniel Foggarty. I crept up to bed and waited for OH to start banging about as he turned things off. Sure enough, the beeping started again. He didnt say anything but I could hear his brain whirring.....
This went on for a week before he isolated the sound. Surprisingly, he didnt put it in the bin but has left it in the rucksack. He shouts 'creep past it' to me as I head up the stairs. Off course, this sets it off. He just shouts 'shut up' at it. And it does.
During our sejourn in the UK, quite a few properties had either withdrawn or been sold and the need for new stock is becoming imperative. The phone rings on Tuesday morning and it is a lady responding to one of my adverts. She talks at me for 20 minutes and I slot her into a morning appointment, as she will also talk a lot at me whilst I am at the house and I need to allocate time for this. Wednesday morning and I am at the parking in front of the church, as organised. No sign of the lady. All the bars are shut so no possibility of coffee. Look in yellow pages and find the name and a lady answers. She sounds sort of the same but not as compus mentis. Is she having a bad day today? She says her daughter has been waiting for me since 9 am. It is now 10.15 and we had a 10 am appointment. She tells me her address and I drive into a very long driveway with high curved concrete walls. There is no where to turn around. A lady of a 'certain age' is waving at me from an upstairs balcony and I am just about to go up the steps when a voice stops me in my tracks.
'What are you doing here! I have been waiting for you at the church'. It is a whirlwind of a woman with thick, brindled, round-framed glasses and a forceful manner. 'Follow me', she shouted, running off. I got back into the car and had trouble reversing out of the driveway. The daughter came running back and, with a lot of arm waving, managed to extract me from the car wrecking curves. 'It is this house', she bellowed, waving her arms at a very ordinary looking 1960's jobbie.
She cranked up the garage door and we went inside and out of the rain. She stood an inch away and carried on at full volume. There was a heck of an echo in the garage and I tried to back off. She got me by the elbow. There were a lot of rooms and they were all empty and there was an echo in all of them. A pain started to develop between my eyes. Finally, we got out and went to the mother's house, which was much more sellable but unfortunately not for sale, did the sales contract and she gave me a chocolate. She was still addressing me like I was an auditorium full of people.
'Are you a teacher?' YES, L'HISTOIRE!!! She boomed.
Home for a quick omelette and salad. Must get rid of the 'life-buoy' which has appeared at midriff level.
The afternoon appointment was for the house which my Brits of last week had requested a viewing and then it transpired was totally unsuitable. The poor dog was still outside and it was raining. He was thrilled to have a visitor and we entered by the garage. The seller makes sculptures in 'inox'. A magnificent five feet tall model of an Infanta was guarding the entrance to the stairs. I had extracted most of the information from the rival agents' details and the man had really good photos so we just did the sales contract and back home in under an hour..
Thursday dawned clear and cold and then the sun came out and it was a wonderful, blissful, warm Spring day with 18 degrees. There is a sound which lifts the spirit like no other and there it was; the raucous, joyful cru cruing of cranes. They milled in a great, chaotic multitude over our house before a small v split off and took direction. Within a couple of minutes, the main band had organised itself into an arc and set off behind them.
Winter is officially over and Spring is on the wing above our heads. Felt thankful and emotional. What a wonder is Nature.
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